Loneliness
Mudassir never expected that he might have to face so much humiliation, ostracization in his own native place after coming back from self exile. He asks himself whether he deserves such treatment which was being meted out to him by his acquaintances, people around him even after passing years away from them or they are making themselves laughing stocks in front of each others. He tries to recollect his past to evaluate whether his decisions of leaving the place was wrong. A long perusal pacifies him. After self appraisal and visualizing the present and past scenario he justifies his decisions right, step which he had taken were based on the fact that he was not inborn political animal so how could he have survived in place where every action and steps in surroundings were fraught with politics. He questions to himself when the thought of politics comes into his mind. What is politics ? Why is it prevalent everywhere ? Why it is said that you can find politics in eating, drinking, sleeping , walking. Question emerges in mind What is real definition of politics ? How does it enters into every walk of human life ? Why it is said if you want to spend your life smoothly you shall have to go through from the river of politics and if you don't know how to swim your survival in surrounding gets bleak.
Mudassir remembers the days when he was child and elders in his family used to discuss about the politics of congress, Janta party, communist parties and others, about the election, about vote. He used to take so much interest in listening. He remembers his childhood days when he also studied political news and enjoyed it. He was not then aware of real definition of politics but used to listen such discussion. Hence the definition of politics , in an immature mind of kid was confined to big and small statement of leaders of political parties, changing of government, news of election of assembly and parliament in every five years. He opened his eyes in such environment where members of his family took part in studying the news.
Although Mudassir took so much interest in the things which was called 'POLITICS but never aspired to become like political leader or even aspired to make them role model. After completion of study he left his family and moved to other state to make career. He remained engage in purpose, target but POLITICS somewhere kept following him. He didn't quit his habit of reading the news of POLITICS.
Mudassir was unaware about the politics a person comes across in day to day life. First time He came to know about this politics, when in a company where he was working he heard his colleague saying that he fell prey of politics'. Mudassir wondered and asked himself if this is politics wherein one makes others scapegoat for ones own benefit then what was that POLITICS about which he had been studying since long where District, state and nation are administered by people involved in POLITCS. His curiosity increases he looks the definition of politics in book. Mudassir mutters ' the activities associated with governance of country or area' He didn’t want to go in deep further in search of its meaning and definition. After going through brief description of word politics he doesn't criticize the people involved in it since he also finds himself associated directly or indirectly with the activities which also plays instrumental role in governance of surrounding. He ponders over the comments of people saying. 'This is very dirty politics' politics is very dirty thing, keep yourself away from it etc. Such type of comments emanate from section of people who also plays small and big, significant and insignificant role in administering their surroundings then questions emerge what factors coerce them to utter such negative comments. He remembers somewhere he read that good activities guarantees of good governance. People want good governance so who can impart good governance, a prosperous society, better environment, a prosperous organization. Some vow not involve in politics because of involvements of some whose activities don't coincide with their style. Such kind of people suffer much since they deprive themselves from being part of it resulting it living in under bad governance.
Mudassir came back to his native place after more than decades. He didn't find his family members, his elders, contemporaries with whom he used to listen about the POLITICS. His house looks deserted. He feels himself stranger in his own home. he brings out broken cot, a table, few chairs from his room gets it repaired, placed it in forlorn veranda to spend his morning, evening, night.
Mudassir came out of his house to have lunch, dinner perhaps the only activities he performs now punctually ever since he came back. He realizes that the way people looks at him while passing through narrow street of his locality as if forgot his face. He looks at his mirror a soft smile comes on his lips he mutters ' I am not changed then why do they see me weirdly' Ever since Mudassir came back he has to pass through from different phases, people around him tries to test his intelligence, intellect, his mind, perhaps they want to ascertain the reason of his coming back. Frequent symbolic gesture of his acquaintances sometimes begins to tease him, he doesn’t respond to such activities since he finds himself not compatible apart from it he realizes that he lacks such traits, activities which is perhaps an integral part of politics he is deprived.
Mudassir lay down on bed, putting pillow down to his head. He muttered.' Where are those discussion, talks pertaining to POLITICS which I liked in the days of my childhood on same place'. He keeps muttering 'Now I want to forget that POLITICS in which i had had interest. Now i want to concentrate on this politics i had been facing ever since i had left my home. ' Mudassir concentrated time and again, tried to prepare his mind to learn how to swim in the river of politics. His mind stopped working he found his mind incompatible to maneuver, to learn and get along with this politics. He shrieked on going thought he begins to mumble again ' I can face my ostracization if my surrounding likes it, I can face humiliation if somebody enjoyed it but I will never change my attitude, I will never change my activity. I will of course associate myself in the activities which play constructive role for welfare of area but never will involve in the activities which is termed politics. I will follow the system but i will not actively participate in it. Even I don't believe in what Plato said about it.' One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by inferiors' I don't care what others say I am ready to face the penalties whatever imposed upon me'.
Mudassir didn't realize when he fell asleep. Cool breeze of morning was titillating him as if her old beloved came after long time, he kept turning himself left and right on bed perhaps was also enjoying with the activity of her childhood acquaintance. Cool breeze succeeded in her effort, he had gone in realm of sleep. After a nap he gets up, rises from bed and sits on chair. He remembers what he was thinking last night and person who came for a moment in his dream. Mudassir even memorized the words he was told in dream by that strange person.' My son, I heard what you were muttering. I admire your determination to keep yourself away from the activities you don't like. Believe me what I tell you. Some are compelled to take such vows, forced by circumstances to take such stand but whatever you were saying was your instinct. You cannot change your attitude, your behavior since system of nature formed your personality in such a way where you may have to face unfavorable circumstances, awkward situation and the things you won't like. But at the same time you are also gifted of power of resistance by nature , try to figure out the power you have been imparted by nature, work on it, hone it and face the surrounding. Every human being has to pass through the situation in his life he thinks that he didn't deserve despite that they try to spend their life smoothly. Learn how to live peacefully, how to come out from impediment, try to make your own way, the way you like., God bless you'
Mudassir rises from chair, moves towards bathroom to get freshed by then tea boy from the hotel which was adjacent to his house came with tea.
' Uncle your tea.' Tea boy said putting cup of tea on table.
' Don't go anywhere , take the money of your tea ' Mudassir said bringing money out from his wallet.
Later he moves towards adjacent room, picked up a book from bookshelf, came back on chair. He kept flipping the pages, resumed his study from the paragraph he left yester morning........................
End
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